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Tuesday, November 9, 2010

What Words?

Day 1 – 09/11/2010, Tuesday
Today I’m penning the first page in my journal. Yes, that’s right! It was the lovely bound book my darling husband Mark gave me for my 45th Birthday. This present was given to me on the 26th March 2010. That was many months ago. Yes, I know I have some explaining to do. Okay, I must confess a few things though. I didn’t really want to write down any of my thoughts in this book. Why- Because, I felt too exposed. I was too afraid of what words might roll off my pen. Yes! ME. I know you don’t believe it! But as the words kept racing through my mind I felt a sense of confusion. But then reality hit home. The words I kept on a leash for many moons or hid in the corners of my heart – these were the words that kept cascading off my pen:
Yes words
Not just any words
 They were words chained with anger
Words
Dark words
Words laced with impatience
Words
Words carved with hate
Words
Words engulfed by fear
Words
Words full of emptiness
Words
Words
And then out of nowhere they flew:
Words
Words sprinkled with joy
Words
Words showered with love
Words
Words marked by peace
Words
Words embraced by hope
And with it that inner peace I craved for.  Why? What happened? Because when I least expected it God was speaking to me as I was sitting at my desk. He was telling me that I should let bygones be bygones. He was telling me to leave the past behind. He was telling me that he loved me with all my warts and faults. He was also telling me to live each day as if it were my last. He was telling me that I should not be afraid of anything or anyone because he was in control of my life. He was taking my hand like the good shepherd he was.
Memory Verse: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want – Psalm 23:1
Prayer: Lord, thank you for always being there for me even though there are times that I don’t deserve it. Lord, help me to keep focused on you and to walk with you without turning back. Lord, help me to live my life like you. Amen
Have a blessed week,
Cheryl